I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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