this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
this hospital has no fireball
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
