I don't usually arrange sex via text message
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
