u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you made out with another girl for some wings
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize