I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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