What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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