Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
