I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
