dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
