I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
