wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm like, not good at living.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
