We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
