I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
