Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
