I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
