I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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