are you still at the devil's house?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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