We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
