Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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