i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize