Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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