I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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