I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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