what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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