They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
