the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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