READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Randomize
