that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
