Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
