I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
