We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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