Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
