I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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