Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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