new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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