I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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