I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
