i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My cat gives me a boner
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
operation have a gay friend backfired
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
