yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
