11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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