You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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