wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
