the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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