I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
