that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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