My friends, they love my intelligence
I puked a lego.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
