Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
