I want to make a zoo with you.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Is it penis luge time yet?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
