the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
