Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
