he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
