my sisters under your porch take her home
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
