it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
