can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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