So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
