But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
foreskin is a definite game changer
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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