is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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