Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
