Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
